Let me..for just one day..

Like what the Bible said in Proverbs 11:14,

'If there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory",

I am but a thankful soul that as early as now we are already receiving such overwhelming support, encouragements (and tips!) from our families and dearest friends. I know I can't thank them enough and they are worth mentioning here, but I opt to do that after the big day. =)

But I am also deeply saddened whenever I perceive a not-so-good reaction about how we wanted to execute our day. I mean criticisms are good, and I am taking every bit of it into considerations. But finding faults on every detail of the wedding tears me down to a negative self-esteem. The damage it does to me is just as despicable as a real knife. =(

I spent much of my prayer times lifting up all the wedding details to the Lord - from all the DIY stuffs we'll make up to the suppliers we'll get. Everything is well-thought out and carefully planned. For months, I did my share of thoroughly researching all the possible venues and suppliers, trimmed down and filtered the most potential ones and presented them to Jay for approval. I am a self-confessed impulsive but I always know my boundaries. And definitely I won't submit to my instant impulse on this once in a lifetime event.

It is also pleasant to see that there are people who would remind us not to spend all the resources we have. I really marvel at their wisdom and concern for us, and I am in awe of these guys. But it was just heartbreaking that some are just not careful with their choices of words - or perhaps am I just too sensitive?

But please, mull over my side:

a. I am not a Veluz Reyes or Cecil Abad Bride. Of course I'll be happier to wear one of their gowns but it never came to my mind on spending so much on what will I wear.

b. I am not a Jayson Magbanua bride. If you'll check my previous post, you'll see that we just won the auction and we were able to save ALMOST HALF of the original videography package price.

c. We got the photography package at a special rate.

d. I admit that the price of the venue is quite steep, but the wedding ceremony and reception will be done at the same place. When you calculate rates for a separate ceremony (church) and reception, the difference will not be that remarkable.

e. To save pennies, I plan to do DIY (Do it your own) stuffs (monograms, save the date cards, placecards, map, thank you card, invitations, growing up avp..etc)

Few months back, before Jay's proposal I remember on telling him that if we are to get married, unless they will offer we should not ask financial help from our families. So we had allotted an amount we will use up on the big day. Of course we're not spending everything we have! We still MUST see non-zero figures in our savings account, enough to spend for rainy days.

For 4 years, I've been providing for my brother's studies (He's now a 4th engineering student in a private school) and when I came here in Singapore I was able to help out 2 of my college student cousins (I fully support one of them since she's living with us) and was able to provide monthly allowance to my mom.Not even once that I failed to provide them on the things they need. I never missed on paying my room rentals and phone bills, and I have my auto savings account. This is not out of bragging or that I am too proud. I just want to let them know that I am doing the math, and at 25,  I am already financially responsible and I won't let this wedding use up all our funds.

I've been thinking of others since I was studying until I started working. Just for one day, let me think only of myself. Let me be selfish for just one day.

I'm not aiming for a perfect wedding, I just wanted to carry out my dream wedding since I was five.